Looking Forward...Rejoice!

While this Sunday is only the second Sunday in Lent, I find myself looking *foward* and thinking about Lent's fourth Sunday which is historically known as "Laetare Sunday" with the Latin word Laetare meaning "Rejoice". Rejoicing in Lent? Seem like a contradiction? Aren't we supposed to save the rejoicing and celebrating until Easter? Ahhhh.....not so! While some churches who use "alleluia" as part of their regular Sunday liturgical content but elect to omit it throughout Lent, actually, EVERY Sunday in Lent and always is a time for rejoicing. Every Sunday, regardless of the church season, we remember and celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. When you think about it, Lent is the key to the mother of all celebrations...without Lent there is no cause for "rejoicing", there is no Easter. There is no resurrection without a crucifixion. Right? Just as Advent, the *purple* season before Christmas is considered a small fast with the third Sunday being rose colored and called Gaudate Sunday (another word for "rejoice") where we're on the countdown to Christmas and thinking about Jesus' mother who'd be getting ready herself for the birth. Just as typically Gaudate Sunday in Advent the "fast" is lifted for a brief break, so also is the same true for Laetare Sunday in Lent. It's as though the combination of dark winter whose moanings and groanings for Spring echo those of our own hearts, combined with whichever fasts or tasks for spiritual growth we've taken on for Lent together make us feel like we'd REALLY like a break, along comes the British tradition of the Simnel Cake. Ever heard of it? Oh my goodness it's amazing. Do you like marzipan (almond paste) and dried, candied fruits? Read on! The custom of the Simnel cake comes from medievel England when the 4th Sunday of Lent, Laetare Sunday, was also called "Mothering Sunday" as on that day, servants who resided far from their families were given the day off to go back to their own homes and visit with their mothers. They were also able to make a cake of fine semolina flour (hence the shortened version of the word "Simnel") and fruits to bring with them and honor their mothers. The cake itself is rich in Lenten meaning, including the top being covered with 11 carefully rolled little balls of marzipan to represent the 11 disciples who remained faithful to Jesus (leaving out Judas who betrayed him). There are tons of other symbolic meanings to other parts of the cake, but I want to move on and leave room for the recipe for you! For those of you thinking "ick....sounds like just another fruit cake", oh ye of small belief! Oh no indeed. This is rich, wonderful, heavenly food. And, if there are fruits in the recipe you don't enjoy, well, just omit them! It's a very forgiving recipe --- which is fitting for Lent, don't you think? :-)While I have a whole book of Simnel cake recipes, I searched for one that's not too complex and with American measurements instead of things being weighed out in grams as in older English recipes (and other European ones as well). Below is a recipe for Simnel cake:

Simnel Cake

1 cup margarine, softened
1 cup light brown sugar
4 eggs
1 3/4 cups self-rising flour
1 1/3 cups golden raisins
1 cup dried currants
2/3 cup candied cherries, rinsed, dried and quartered
1/4 cup candied mixed fruit peel, chopped
2 tablespoons grated lemon zest
2 teaspoons mixed spice
1 pound almond paste
2 tablespoons apricot jam
1 egg, beaten

Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. Grease and flour an 8 inch springform pan. Line the bottom and sides of pan with greased parchment paper. In a large bowl, cream together the margarine and brown sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time. Beat in the flour. Stir in the golden raisins, currants, candied cherries, mixed fruit, lemon zest and mixed spice. Pour 1/2 of batter into prepared pan.

Divide almond paste into 3 equal portions. Roll out 1/3 of the almond paste to an 8 inch circle. Place the circle of almond paste on the cake batter in pan. Cover with remaining cake batter. Bake in the preheated oven for 2 1/2 hours, or until evenly brown and firm to the touch. If the cake is browning too quickly, cover with foil after an hour of baking. Let cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack and cool completely. Set oven to broil. When the cake has cooled, brush the top with warmed apricot jam. Roll out 1/3 of the almond paste into an 8 inch circle and place on top of cake.

Divide the remaining 1/3 of almond paste into 11 pieces and roll into balls. These represent the 12 Apostles minus Judas. Brush the almond paste on top of cake with beaten egg. Arrange the 11 balls around the outside edge on the top of cake. Brush the balls lightly with egg. Place cake under the broiler for 8 to 10 minutes, or until almond paste is golden brown.

Making this cake is a fun activity to do together with children, or a peaceful one to do meditatively by yourself. Sometimes Simnel Cake is also referred to as Easter Cake for those who prefer to save this rich treat until Easter. For those of you who read through the recipe thinking, "something about this feels a little familiar" but have never heard of or had such a cake, just think about "Hot Cross Buns". Wonderful little mini-cakes filled with dried, candied fruit and marked with a cross of frosting (plain vanilla, not luscious almond marzipan, but yummy none-the-less). See the connection? The first Simnel cakes were yeast cakes like the kind of dough used in Hot Cross Buns. My husband and I look forward to enjoying a Hot Cross Bun treat for breakfast each Sunday through Lent, as a tiny break from our typical fasting from desserts and sweet treats.

Perhaps because we're looking at yet more wintery weather and it's a gray Currier and Ives day outside but my heart is yearning for spring to come, I've been remembering a beautiful setting of part of the Walt Whitman poem "When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloomed" by Robert Sanders. For the musically adept, this is quite different from the Paul Hindeminth much larger arrangement of the entire poem for chorus and orchestra. This is simple, elegant but profound setting for accapella chorus. I have looked all over the Internet for a recording but, alas, have found none except the Hindemith setting. While Walt Whitman wrote the poem in remembrance of the death of Abraham Lincoln, it's something which resonates with us all. Years ago I sang this with an amazing accapella group and it has always stayed with me, engraved on my heart. So, while I cannot share a link to a recording of the Sanders arrangement, below is the segment of the poem (the first section of the entire poem) by Walt Whitman. Think about it as you're making your Simnel cake and again while you're enjoying it...unless you make the supreme sacrifice of giving it to someone you love to honor them on "Mothering Sunday", Laetare Sunday, to help them rejoice in proper, amazing, delightful style.

When lilacs last in the dooryard bloom’d,
And the great star early droop’d in the western sky in the night,
I mourn’d, and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.
Ever-returning spring, trinity sure to me you bring,
Lilac blooming perennial and drooping star in the west,
And thought of him I love.

The words from which "Laetare Sunday" are derived are:

Rejoice, [Laetare] O Jerusalem: and come together all you that love her: rejoice with joy, you that have been in sorrow: that you may exult, and be filled from the breasts of your consolation. (Psalm) I rejoiced at the things that were said to me: we shall go into the house of the Lord.

Even if you elect to keep your fast without Sunday breaks, even on the 4th Sunday, don't postpone your rejoicing until Easter! Looking forward...."come Lord, Jesus, come". Alleluia!

Twitter...who'd a thought!

I've heard about this for a little while and decided tonight I'd give this "Twitter" thing a look-see. www.Twitter.com is pretty cool. Lots of reasons. You're limited to 160 characters in a post which is good discipline for a writer. Short little "real world" commentary in stead of profound thoughts, insights or venting. A Twitter "post" is called a Tweet. Cute! "All the little birds go tweet tweet tweet..."
Despite all the conveniences meant to make life more simple and tasks easier to complete so we have more time for connection with friends as well as to engage in other pursuits, let me ask you. Have you found you have more time as a result of technology? Um...me neither. Don't get me wrong. I love gizmos and technology both fascinates me as well as fascilitates my getting things done which does make these things faster and more fun, too.

But connection with others. That's the tougher thing. Geography, pain, other issues like time and major busyness...things I'm doing, busyness of friends etc. are great limiters of maintaining the connections. For communication I'm grateful for email, voicemail, cell phone and land line and even my answering machine. But that spontanaeity thing is hard to capture, that sense of little quips one might share with friends without framing stuff in an entire email or a blog post. Love my cell phone and the odd, occasional text message but our wireless account isn't set up for lots of texting and it would be a huge expense to use my phone for Internet access (due to how we've set up our plan/contract). Also, not a whole lot of time for that with my cell phone, too. Use my computer mostly for this sort of communique.

So I checked out the Twitter thing, and now I'm on board. Cool concept, really. So, calling all friends....tweet tweet! And of course, it's SisterTroi - just as in my email address. SisterTroi "tweets" that you all have a good night's rest. Peace!

Living the "Fully Alive" Life

Do you know what a 6-pack of Diet Coke looks like in the back seat of your car in -35 degree weather? That’d be 35 degrees BELOW zero. If you guessed that the cans would be imploded with hundreds of little Coke-colored icicles clinging to the ceiling of the car and other surfaces, you’ve either seen this similar phenomenon or are just a good guesser. Some years ago I’d been visiting friends in Vermont at their ski house and, sleeping soundly in a cozy featherbed with a down comforter, I had no idea the temperature had plunged that low. True, it had been negligent of me to leave the Diet Coke in the car in the winter time. But I had a long drive ahead of me in the morning and this beverage has always been something which helps me stay alert at the wheel if I’m driving for a few hours at a time.
It was quite a shock to step out into such frigidness early that Vermont January morning. My car wouldn’t even humor me by making any noise at all when I turned the key. Nope. I wasn’t going anywhere until the weather warmed a bit. At least I was able to pluck out all the frozen cola before it thawed, leaving no trace of my messy mistake.
In the past week or so, there have been several below zero mornings here. There is a particular rigid silence when it is that cold. Just looking out at the trees covered in snow and ice with nothing moving, seemingly all turned to stone in such frozenness, there’s no need to see a thermometer to know it’s below zero. Such stillness was surprisingly broken one morning when a bright streak of bird song loudly broke the silence. It was like a rebellion of sorts. How could anything, especially one lone little bird, draw such breath and produce a vibrantly loud jubilant song amidst these icebound surroundings? It was remarkable! As if to mock the utter stillness of this Arctic frozenness, the bird song continued for some minutes. I was amazed. What a contrast to all else which was totally, solidly paralyzed in the cold.
These few minutes at the window, listening to the lighthearted bird singing boldly in an Arctic-like landscape made me think of the book PJ and I are currently reading. The main focus in John Eldridge’s "Waking the Dead" is drawn from this quote: “The glory of God is man fully alive” (from St. Irenaeus, an early church writer, a manuscript from 185 AD). Think about it for a moment. In our hectic, task-driven world, how “alive” are we as a whole or, more personally, are you? Typically we rise, do our quick morning routine of grooming, dressing, and maybe a little breakfast before hitting the door with possibly a few words of prayer tangled in the middle of getting ready for the day. We are consumed by thoughts, barraged by images, requests, news, complaints, anxieties etc. Often our inner dialogue is composed mainly of self-criticisms about why we can’t get something done faster, better, why we’re not exercising, eating better, losing weight….you name it. Seldom is our mind and even more importantly, our heart, quiet enough to hear what God is trying to say to us. So, in other words, we are nowhere near living a “fully alive” life.
At first blush the quote above might seem a little, well, too lofty and high-minded a notion for Christian people who are supposed to live in humility, giving praise and glory to the Lord for everything attained/experienced in life. BUT, when you consider this quote from Jesus, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10), isn’t that a big part of God’s whole idea? And as we are created in God’s image (Gen. 1:26) and He is all glory, then wouldn’t it follow that to be “fully alive” is our best gift to God? The fulfilling of His intention for us?
Ok, so how do we approach this? It takes time, willingness, awareness, and practice. The benefits we reap in personal peace and joy are more than worth learning a new attitude and mode of living. Basically we need to first break all the agreements we’ve made (and continue to make) with the Evil one that we are bad. All those ideas suggested in our minds, those critical thoughts, those condemning remarks --- they are not from God. It is important to remember that the father of lies, the Evil one, seeks to disrupt anything that would bring us the fullness of life and happiness that life in Jesus promises. If you think about it, really it is mostly us agreeing with these critical thoughts which make up a tremendous part of our picture of ourselves and colors the emotions we experience every day.
I am NOT saying we do not make bad choices, select unhealthy options etc. Yes we do, and we reap the consequences of them also. However, this is separate and apart from how we view ourselves and then also see others as well. Those critical little judgmental thoughts that creep into your mind about someone….where do you think they come from? Who do you think they come from initially before we agree with them? Yup. Freedom comes from recognizing this and saying stop! Proverbs 23: 7 says that how we think is how we are: “As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is”. If we’re thinking unkind, critical, judgmental toxic thoughts, they’re going to soon turn into how we’re feeling as well. As this may seem a bit daunting, here’s a quick filter through which to test things if you’re wondering if they’re the thoughts which get in the way of being “full alive”, living with peace and joy. It’s Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”.A-ha! Gottcha! If something happens to be true but it is NOT “lovely, admirable, praiseworthy” then it would follow that dwelling on it means taking on everything else that goes with it --- yucky thoughts produce yucky feelings. This Lent, why not take the opportunity to consciously renew your mind, become like the rebellious little songbird in the frozen winter and seek to be “fully alive” and reap the joy and goodness that Jesus came to bring us all. Amen!

Close to my heart

Ok. I'll share something several have asked about over the years. "Are you a...some kind of....well, like...sort of... a monk-ess or something....???" is a question that every once and a while someone asks me. And I try to describe that, kind of, yes. Since November of 1986 I have been a member of the Fellowship of St. John, which is part of the *body*, but in a different format indeed, of the Society of St. John the Evangelist. www.ssje.org The picture above is of my "order cross" which I received when I was received into the Fellowship. I used to wear it very often, but I haven't in the past few years as I have not wanted it to be a distraction or confusion to others in my participation in ministry here at the United Church of Penacook. The message in this cross, though, is universally Christian, as inscribed around the center are the words of Jesus, "Dwell in me as I dwell in you".

The SSJE is the oldest religious order for Anglican men. HOWEVER the Fellowship of St. John includes BOTH men and women, clergy and lay people, married and single. At our profession of membership in the Fellowship, our vows are different, of course, than those of the men who become monks and live in the monastery. But we do strive to live by a "rule" of life which strengthens us, gives us accountability (though there are no SSJE "police" who check to see how well we're doing :-)and a sense of order in a life filled with busy-ness and many responsibilities to others. It provides a reminder and a means to keep some kind of balance among all the other things which constantly pull at us in the world. It is also an ongoing connection to a community that has long been an extended family to me.

Amid the wide (and sometimes drastic) veerings of the Episcopal church (the main expression of the Anglican Communion in the USA) I have been grateful that the SSJE has maintained a more "orthodox" Anglican view embracing traditional Biblical stances on things like marriage and, well, I'm sure you all read the news or can't escape it on TV. But they manage to do this always with love and graciousness. The warmth which envelopes you the moment you enter either the chapel for worship from the outside (all services of worship are open to the public), or the guest house for a retreat is both refreshing and instantly relaxing. Well, it's WAY more than just *relaxing*...for me, it has always been a profound sense of coming home and being welcomed with open, expectant arms which are happy to see me. It is a place of deep restoration and healing.
From my first retreat there, I knew this was a special place, an extraordinary group of people with several wonderful missions in the world. The brothers are not "cloistered", living only in the monastery and enclosed, but instead they live what is called a "mixed life". They teach, preach and do all sorts of things in helping spread the gospel and minister to many kinds of people throughout so many different places. But they also gather (whenever possible)for prayer in the chapel, often hastening to put on their habits (black cassock with rope belt, and black scapular) over their clothing as they hurry to gather from wherever they've been.


The music is sublime! and the food is delicious. The guest rooms are comfortable and the monastery is close to Harvard Square and right across from the Charles River, as it's located on Memorial Drive in Cambridge, MA. The quest for an ever deepening relationship with Jesus is set within wonderful worship and simple services of prayer throughout the day and into the evening. I am always renewed and strengthened when I am there (it's been way too long since I've been....this year I just MUST schedule a few days there).
If you have time, click on the link to their web site and wander a while through the pages of tours of the monastery's simple chapel (it is so 360 degrees you can even see the inside of the high vaulted wooden ceiling!)and guest house, listen to some of the music and perhaps book mark the web site to come back and read even more. NOT that I'm trying to recruit anyone...just sharing what has always been sweet, cool deep water for a thirsty spirit and warm love and joy for a weary heart. Enjoy! www.ssje.org

Enigma

This is just so weird. After my formerly "late" marvelous Toshiba Satellite was CLEARLY and CONSISTANTLY going eternally "bye-bye", giving me just enough time to get a new one at an amazingly bargain price, my mother suggested perhaps after not being used for a while, the old one would work again. Like our TV which was almost totally "kaput" and then spent a year in a somewhat damp garden shed, but which is now working just fine....amazingly, against all odds.
Now, I know computers and TVs do not have *souls*, therefore the concept of resurrection (unless you deliberately do something like rebuild the things) just does not apply.

HOWEVER, today while considering the new Operating System, Windows 7 and playing with the idea of thinking about installing it on this machine......if I could get it to boot or something, I plugged in this (I'm writing from the formerly *done in* Toshiba Satellite even now) laptop, fired it up and wowee......it worked! I've been using it all day and it's been working perfectly! No screen freezes, no crashes.....fine! And, I re-thought the idea of installing an operating system which is still in beta form, guaranteed to have "bugs" and glitches and which will completely stop operating on August 1. Reason kicked in and said this is just not a good idea. There are enough stressers in life without reaching out and purposely asking for some more.

But still, this machine continues to work! It is an enigma. Oh I'm not going to take back the new laptop.....uh uh....nope. That would most certainly set the re-demise of this machine in motion again. All those "my days are numbered....caution....caution" signals this was giving me for weeks were real. I don't expect this little honeymoon of sorts today to continue endlessly. Yet, isn't it strange?

Over time, I've had the opportunity to converse at length with various brilliant computer people (they could build them, program them, fix them.....all that) and not one of them really knew the inner actual *thing* that makes these incredible machines really work. It has made me, a totally self-taught computer user feel a little better at all the things I don't know about them myself. Mystifying, isn't it? How like us, in many ways. The Bible says we are "fearfullyly and wonderfully made" and isn't that the truth! That we could have the intelligence to invent these things in the first place, and then develop them over the years to the extraordinary extent they are now. From the early days of DOS where you had to type things in EXACTLY correctly or you'd get bupkis....nothing (and the computer wouldn't give you a hint what you did wrong or how to go on from there) to the "point and click" world of Windows. Amazing. I think back to the extraordinary concept of even having a computer that would sit on your desk without being the size of a trailer or something, as in the original computers which needed huge cooling resources. The breakthrough of the Personal Computer was amazing (trying not to "date" myself here...I was really young). But now, where it has gone from there, making that older technology so incredibly obsolete, just think about the "evolution" of the computer over the years.

Whoops! About that "e" word, evolution. I'm not hinting that I believe in Darwin's theory...I learned my life science of taxonomy to be Life: Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species; and that living things evolve WITHIN their own species to survive, or they become extinct. I do not believe we humans were ever sharks or fish or any of that drivel (respectfully speaking for those who do believe this) because we haven't jumped a species. We have evolved and changed to survive within our environment. But that's about living, breathing life...not electronic stuff made of plastic, metal, wires and electricity and cannot evolve without a person making this happen to/for them (the computers).

So, here I am. I enjoyed going to www.fancast.com to watch the most recent episode of "Grey's Anatomy" in HD on this lovely screen, listening to the sound through the nice Harmon Kardon stereo speakers. Everything about this laptop has just been humming along beautifully all day. Go figure. It's an enigma. Who knows about tomorrow or whenever, though. I'm grateful to have the new Toshiba laptop sitting on the shelf. So very much like life. Just when you think you have something completely figured out, sometimes there's a surprise which had previously seemed not possible. But isn't it nice to be prepared? Even if that preparedness is just an illusion, too. Relax. We need to plan, prepare and keep ourselves pointed in the direction we've chosen for our lives. But remember: we're not in control of very much at all. Just breathe, do your best, and enjoy the ride :-)

There is Comfort

Today surprised me. It’s the nineth anniversary of my father’s death and out of the blue I feel like the Empire State Building landed square on my chest. And no, it’s not a cardiac issue. It’s just that I’ve made it through the previous 8 years on this day without such sorrow. Sad remembrance yes, but not to this extent. Oh this is hard and teary. I guess I’ve been so busy taking care of my mother’s feelings and needs that I’ve just not thought about my own. Something inside must have clicked open though, that secret place which will have its say, sometimes unbidden if left closed away too long. So, today I will sit with this and hope it goes away soon. I’ll honor my father and seek comfort for me. I wish the words God spoke to me early on when grief was fresh, to sooth the rawness and renew my hope, would still have the same impact they did back then. It was a real moment of not only clarity, but true sweetness…and I heard the words ring in my heart as well as through my mind when they came. It could not have just been from me, my imagination. I was at such a different place and trying to do so many things for which my responsibilities of course continued. I absolutely knew it was the Lord. And after those words came and embedded themselves, I turned a corner then and moved forward. Until today, I thought it was all *fine*. Maybe if I re-remember them, those simple profound words, it will ease things. God said, “Spring will come again.” And it did. A new “Spring” in my heart, long before the buds began showing on the trees. I haven’t written any poetry in a long time. I feel a poem coming on. It doesn’t sound like any of my usual styles of writings, but we’ll see what happens. Perhaps it might be a blessing for someone.

Nine years ago my father died,
A sad day, but I never cried.
My mother and I through three hard days had stayed by his side.

There couldn’t have been any other way,
It was a blessing God took him that day.
No “getting better” was possible for him,
The thought of more future here would have been terribly grim.

No more debility, no more pain,
Just release into a heavenly plane.
The space he left is too huge to fill,
His own unique place is somehow living still.
Into the early sorrow and empty pain,
God spoke to my heart, saying,:
“Spring will come again….”

Christmas: a movable, ongoing feast

Tonight, at long last, after snow and ice storms, massive power outages for days and just lots of life happening since Christmas, my two dear friends and I (20 years of friendship and prayer partners) FINALLY got together for dinner and to share Christmas with one another. Although it's been some time since all the "trappings" of Christmas have come down, the spirit and love of the Christmas season flowed richly among us as we shared simple good food, wonderful conversation and laughter and gave one another our Christmas gifts. Despite it being January 13, nothing at ALL seemed odd about this. My friends and I have many responsibilities, involvements in our churches, families, work, and variables in our lives over which we have only limited (if any) control. So, it's not unusual that our birthday and Christmas celebrations have sometimes been "extended" like this. That's how we feel about them. Reality might say these festive holiday get-togethers have been "delayed", but in our hearts, they are simply *extended* --- that the joy has just expanded and certainly nothing is lost in celebrating significantly long after the rest of the world has put Christmas away.


On the drive back home, I gave some thought about how this is really how it should always be. Oh, I don't mean that people should purposely *extend* or wait longer before they celebrate Christmas, but that we should keep a Christmas heart all year long....live a Christmas life every day. Oops....this doesn't mean multiple trips to the mall and more presents. Nope. Jesus came to us, born anew in our hearts at Christmas and our response is to spread the word and do the "work" of Christmas all year long.


The late Dr. Howard Thurman wrote a wonderful poem, "The Work of Christmas" which describes this perfectly. As we step further into the New Year, let's think about this and carry Christmas along with us in what we do as well as how we are with one another. Here's the poem,

"The Work of Christmas"

"When the star in the sky is gone,
When the Kings and Princes are home,
When the shepherds are back with their flocks,
The work of Christmas begins:
To find the lost,
To heal the broken,
To release the prisoner,
To teach the nations,
To bring Christ to all,
To make music in the heart."

Now, wouldn't the world, or even just our little corner of it be so much brighter, lighter, and happier if we were to do this all year long? :-)